The Life That Is Kristine

Seeing as I haven't written in quite some time I decided that it was high time to create an entry. To be honest I forgot about writing on here due to the fact that everything has been moving in stereo. Also, Ian also told me to read his blog to fill my time which reminded me that I even had one.

So it is currently day 5 of reading week for me and it is not what I hoped. It has been filled of heartache, sadness, happiness, confusion etc. I have accomplished a great deal of things on my list of "things to do". I feel quite satisfied with my accomplisments however they do not seem to be as fulfulling as I would hope. I hope that the rest of the week will certainly be better than how things started, but then I guess it will be what I make of it so we will see.

Recently I guess I have been someone emo. Its funny because when I think of emo I think of those crazy kids and all that is comprised with it. I guess to everyone I have been making a big deal about small things and have become overly sensitive. I really haven't. I just get affected differently that most people and some people don't realize that things are quite big to me. That's alright tho, it's hard to find someone that will understand you completely.

On another note, I did not get back into residence. For some people this ma not seem that big of a deal but this is the first step that has started to put everything in motion. Everything meaning my life. I have decided to get an apartment with my awesome buddy and pal Chi. Thinking about what is to come is scary and fun. I wil now be an independent person and finally what I had pictured my life like many years ago is now coming true. Just think my own place with an awesome friend where we are totally going to go crazy and drink wine and have those crazy candle parties... hahaha. Not only that I will be independent and free from residence drama, my friends, my family, my boyfriend and everything. Its weird when i say free. I don't mean it in a negative light however as i distance myself and start to mold my life to what I want it, this space will be much needed. Its not that I am going to cut myself off from everyone, just develop a sense of who I am which is very important. I just hope that people can hold on and accept me for me and my lifestyle changes. 

Another thing that those of you may care to know about is that I believe this Bryan thing is out of my system. Granted I say that now but it still has lingering effects in my romantic life and in my trusting aspect of myself. I can now sleep and on occasion have a bad dream but other than that I seem to be good to go. I say this now because Im at home and removed from the situation but it feels... good and I feel happy. I think talking to the police was one of the best things I have ever done.

It seems like from here on out everything will be happy! which is amazing.

Kayla if you are reading this, did that person who owns the clown painting ever email you back? I can only imagine that I would be creeped out to the shits if I recieved such an e-mail. Also, a sushi date is in order for us and I guess Ian can come along as long as he's not busy doing Luke... hahaha

So today I was supposed to go out on an outting with Ian for some sushi. Sadly he stood me up. Not only did he stand me up, he also stood Kayla up as well. The nerve of some people. As Kayla and I ate our make-shif lunch of carrots, cucumber and dip, we hypothesized about what could possible be more important than us. We came to the conclusion that he was having sex. Sex with who you might wonder, sex with no other than the SGA president and that obviously Ian was the taker. We hope you enjoyed your time...

So I was sitting in front of my computer looking at the screen zoning in and out fusing all the colours together. This proved to be quite amusing for quite some time however my eyes did start to hurt... go figure, the one thing that is keeping me amused hurts me! Grrr.

So today was definitely was more or less a major bust. I woke up at 3:15pm... (who does that) and the wallowed around as usual. I thought that being at home would help me relax, forget about the assaulter, and feel like a safe place. Sadly this isn't happening. I am constantly having nightmares and am bombarded by the thought that he is following me and that he will show up at any moment. It isn't helping that hes been in my house before... his presence is everywhere. I am considering placing a call to the ghost busters. Yes I am well aware that he isn't a ghost but surely they can do something for his so called presence? I'm sure of it.

As my day progressed there was nothing but uncertainty throughout it. My dad attacked me at dinner with the whole "Why don't you stay in Con. Ed" it's good for you etc. Hello! have you not been listening to me? I want to do something that I enjoy that mentally stimulates me on a daily basis, not something that is repetitive! Sheesh. This is my own future so I think that I am old enough to make my own decisions about my own life don't you think?

I also had a conversation with my parents about going to Mexico in May. They seem all for it which is awesome. Is there really another way to learn a language then learn it in its' mother country? I think not! Plus it will be a much needed vacation away from the civilization that I live in now that is filled with backstabbers, horrible room-mates, etc. I really want to go... Hopefully people can come with me so I'm not all alone in a country with no friends. I like to be introverted and have my space but I certainly don't want to be completely isolated now do I?

Today I was also a good samaritan! I stopped a building from burning down... There was this garbage on fire and the flames were pretty high and and it looked like the building was going to catch fire so I alerted the people and the fire department was called. I know it doesn't seem like something big but it was still cool. After I saved the poor building I continued on to Fabric Land with my mother to purchase some fabric to make new bed sheets for my bed (I can't stand the tainted Bryanish that is on them) Sadly I came out empty handed and discouraged.

By the time I came home my brother asked me if I would join him on a date. We went to chapters where I purchased the controversial book called A Million Little Pieces. I am very excited to read it. After chapters my brother and I went and saw The Matador. Pretty good movie I say. It was really nice to spend some time with my little Pauliflower. I do miss him so while I'm at school...

I hope that tomorrow or shall I say later today will turn out to be better. That is my goal but it doesn't look too promising. My dad says I have lost the sparkle in my eye and that I'm really down. I am down! It just feels like everything was taken away! ugh!

So I' m at home... and you would think that getting away from the prison cell would do me some good but it hasn't. This bothers me a whole lot. Why can't I escape anything? Hopefully tomorrow will be good, I'm going to this thing called Body World with my dad. It sounds amazing. What it is, is over 200  human bodies that have been preserved and the skin has been stripped from them... then, they are positioned in different ways and you can see all the muscles etc. I already checked it out on the Ontario Science Center site and it looks wicked... Some how I believe that this will be the highlight of my time home. Sad isn't it.

It bothers me how I haven't talked to Brandon since I've left... I know he's at home too but he won't message me or anything. I know I should get over myself and message him but things were left really weird on tuesday. He just left my room and I never said goodbye to him. What type of gf does that? sounds stupid i know but whatever...

Today was eventful... I managed to do the following:

1. E-mail all my prof's
2. reply to them all
3. complete some assignments
4. dropped out of the concurrent education program
5. read a book
6. wallowed around
7. had a shower
8. pack
9. watch some tv
10. play some online game
11. made things worse with my sig. other
12. apply for that spanish exchange program
13. met with paulette
14. played mini golf on student street and won
15. played some HASA thing

And that would be about it! WOW i lead an amazing life..

You know what I hate... room-mates. I know that sounds a bit harsh but I don't think I can stand mine anymore. We used to be best friends but living together has to be one of the worst ideas I have ever had. It makes me angry that I can't do what I want without always being questioned. It has gotten to the point where there is just so much tension in here you could cut it with a knife (not cool). I honestly don't know what I should do anymore short of moving out. It just seems like everything is just piling on top of me and this is the last thing I need to deal with.

Some people are trying to mediate between us but really... back off. As much as this will sound horrible, I am enjoying this no talking because I can do whatever I want and not have to answer to her. Thank God. I certainly don't need another mother.

I'm also a little ticked at my significant other. As much as he has been there for me these past few weeks he's really stupid when it comes to knowing when I actually need him to listen. Instead all I get is criticism and and air of arrogance. This really pisses me off because if he or anyone else for that matter ever needs me, I am there at the drop of a hat. It always seems like no one ever has the time to deal with me... then again why would anyone right?

Anyway on a lighter note the stupid conservatives won. How gay is that? I mean can the people of Canada make a worse choice? whatever... I hope things turn out to be good instead of shitty however I think moving to Hell might be a suitable option on the nearby horizon.

So in the game of Hand on Boob and Crotch Grab, I am moving up in the rankings! I got Luke 2 times which puts me at 20 000 points plus 1000 x 2 for matt and at least 200 from Kayla... Im not really sure my total points however it should be fairly high.... I should really keep track of these things